Apr 1, 2013

He-Man's 5 Great Gay Adventures

When it comes to Filmation's classic television series He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, it is not too much of a stretch to find a homosexual subtext in its clichéd dialogue and hyper-masculine, brutal atmosphere. But there are times when the sci-fi hero's use of his "awesome secret powers" to fight the forces of evil seems to go beyond mere inadvertent sexual innuendo and into "oh, this is so gay" territory. Here are five of He-Man's gayest moments.

In the first episode of He-Man: MOTU, "Comet in Space," an evil skeleton harnesses the power of a wandering comet. The comet attempts to prevent the self-mutilating old wizard Comet Keeper from rebuilding his destroyed lover by attacking him with a rock man without reproductive organs; He-Man wrestles with the evil comet long enough for his friends to fill the new comet with their love, defeat Skeletor, and the happy couple is once again enable them to travel the galaxy in harmony. And just when you thought the story couldn't get any more mind-boggling, it turns out that both comets are actually male.

In "Quest For He-Man," the protagonist passes through a rainbow-colored time corridor and falls into the environmentally devastated world of Tranis, where he meets the spoiler Prandor. He is a lisping, rabbit-headed industrial magnate with an inexplicable taste for polluting the oceans and exterminating the planet's wildlife. Plundor is immediately enchanted by the "powerful looking beast" and offers to "put his muscles to great use"; He-Man politely declines in the way only he can: straddle Plundor's "liquid-filled" rocket and plunge into the stratosphere. Literally.

OK, this is a fairly common example, but it also includes the presence of the royal weapons master Duncan, aka Man-at-Arms. He is a middle-aged man, in mid-weight armor, with a beard in the 70's, with nothing better to do than to go on long journeys with Prince Adam and keep his secrets. The whole thing reeks of human growth hormone, secret pasts, and late-night slapstick in the dark corridors of Castle Grayskull.

In She-Ra: Princess of Power, a sister series to He-Man: MOTU, She-Ra meets a socially oppressed dragon named Sorrowful in an episode titled "The Laughing Dragon." Seeking to enlist his help against the Horde Army, Bow, the show's iconic male, tries to intimidate and encourage the tormented reptile. But even the bullying beast can't help but mock the archer, who inexplicably chooses to wear a belted pink frock, in a limp jab at the bow's masculinity. In the anti-bullying episode, the bullied also picks on someone for being different.

And finally, I would like to draw your attention to the episode "Fisto's Forest," in which He-Man & Co. are called upon to help the foresters whose petulant leader, Elf Lord, is being held captive by a bushy-bearded bully named Fisto. Fisto, whose name can't help but remind one of a tub of water-based cream and neoprene gloves, uses his oversized metal fists to choke rivers and devour crops. The whole situation is made clearer by Fisto's choice to douse his opponents with a sticky white liquid as a means of subduing them.