Nov 5, 2013

'Steven Universe' Premiere Recap: "Gem Glow" and "Laser Light Cannon"

Coming-of-age stories are usually found in the pages of Judy Blume or the films of John Hughes, but not so with Rebecca Sugar. She was the first woman to single-handedly create a Cartoon Network show, Steven Universe, the story of a boy who has powerful gems but doesn't know how to use them. He lives with three very different gemstone-bearing friends known as the Crystal Gems. Each week, they seem to dive deeper into Steven's world in Beach City and learn all that his Gems have to offer.

"The Sparkle of the Gems" was a good introduction to the four main characters and the supporting character, stock boy Lars, who may or may not have stolen my heart. Anyway, Steven is distressed that his favorite ice cream treat, Cookie Cats, has been discontinued. You may think I'm exaggerating a bit. If you think so, you must have never fallen in love with food. And don't even get me started on the fact that Hometown Buffet has discontinued chicken and dumplings for dinner.

Knowing that Steven would be angry, Gems stocked the freezer, and Steven was overjoyed, lamenting and rapping that Cookie Cats are "tummy pets." Then the Gem on his belly glows. This is a shock, because while the other gems are fully aware of the power of their gems, Stephen forgets his. He then comes to believe that the frozen treat has summoned a shield from his glowing stone. Of course, that's not true. His pure happiness must have made him do it. Stay tuned for the rest of the season to see if I am right and if he blesses us with a cookie cat.

Learning what his gem does and how to use it leads us to learn each of the distinct personalities of the other gems. Pearl is the little miss responsible, amethyst is carefree and well, lazy, and garnet is the strong silent type. She hardly ever says a word, but she is intimidating as hell. (Note: Keep in mind that these are the final forms compared to the pilot version. Pearl is more ghostly, Garnet has an afro, and Lars is sexier.)

All the episodes seem to feature characters who are in some kind of danger, but who are also very human. They fought a centipede in this one and a giant red eye in the sky in "Laser Light Cannon." Not only did they eventually defeat the terror in the sky, but they also somehow figured out why Steven lives with his three chicks. Mama's rose quartz is the gem that gave up her physical body to give birth to Steven, and now he has her stone.

It turns out that the only way to get rid of Red Eye is to defeat him with Steven's mom's laser light cannon. The only problem is that she is not around. They have to enlist the help of Stephen's dad, Greg (voiced by Tom Sharpling of WFMU's cult radio show Best Show). According to Amethyst, he is "a little confused." According to Amethyst, he's "kind of a mess." He has a terrible but interesting farmer's tan, lives in a van, and is a failed musician. Mr. Universe didn't stand a chance, but his (perhaps only) song, "Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)," was great.

They save the town by Greg's motto, "If every pork chop were perfect, there would be no hot dogs." It seems to be the underpinning mantra of this series, as this phrase is muttered so many times and everyone seems to know it. Yes, hot dogs are the greatness in this scenario.